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Mothers and embarrassing masturbation
This post is part of Mashable's Masturbation Week. May is National Masturbation Month, so we're celebrating by exploring the many facets of self-love. Look, we've all been there. Here are our ten favorite stories of masturbation gone wrong from the depths of Reddit. Hopefully you can't relate to any of the horrors below.
Jessica Biel. Age: 29. Friendly and nice girl model appearance. I will meet with a sober adequate man strictly from 25 years. Preference - the dominant men.
18 Hilariously Embarrassing Masturbation Horror Stories That'll Leave You Cringing
We Asked People for Their Most Embarrassing Masturbation Stories - VICE
When you break down masturbation to its basic elements—privacy, a little bit of inspiration, some elbow grease, and hopefully a modest cleanup routine—there's obviously nothing to be embarrassed about. As something of a public service, VICE asked several self-identified self-pleasurers to share their most embarrassing masturbation stories. Because whether or not you consider yourself skilled in the area of dialing the rotary phone, shakin' the bacon, or whatever euphemism you prefer, you probably didn't start out as a masturbatory pro. I was driving from Calgary to Edmonton, and I'd done a bunch of partying the night before so I was super hungover.
Nico. Age: 26. Comfort, good mood and pleasant rest are guaranteed! I know how to give a man pleasure! It will be an unforgettable meeting ...
25 People Share Their Most Embarrassing Masturbation Moments
A reminder that you should always make sure that your door is locked. While in the heat of things my grandmother busts through the door to tell me that dinner is ready. I guess she drew the conclusion that I was only naked because of the heat and apologized that it was so hot in the house, and that the repairman was going to be there shortly. Either way, that dinner was very awkward, and I learned that masturbation was best left for the bedroom and during times when you were safe from interruptions. Two hours and a bottle of wine later my vagina was on fire, and I'm pretty sure my vulva shudders to this day if Flamin' Hot Cheetos are present.
Was 13, saw the pubes of a year-old maybe even older woman, went into the bathroom and spanked the monkey. Not proud of myself…. Hear me out: I worked in a restaurant for a few years, and we had to make pizza dough and cut it into small g portions and rolling them into balls of dough. After a while, being a horny yo, I noticed the pizza dough had a really similar feeling as boobs, and even a similar shape. So at the end of one of my shifts, I left with 3 of these dough balls and went back home.